Falling Upon Deaf Ears
by MutedClamour
Summary: When you can't hear, you start drawing your own conclusions. Answer to prompt; ‘McCoy loses his hearing in an accident and Kirk helps him cope.’ Kirk/McCoy.


**From the ST Anon Meme Unfilled - Answer to the Prompt:**

'_McCoy loses his hearing in an accident and Kirk helps him cope.'_

loved the prompt. still in love/hate relationship with my writing. tried my best. enjoy.

________________________________

Leonard McCoy stared blankly at the Medical bay wall as he lay on the bed quietly. A few hours remained until he would regain his hearing and he had long grown tired at throwing a tantrum around the Enterprise. Not so long ago he had accompanied Jim on an exploration of their latest planet. The land was heavily forested, but showed no signs of any living beings. Even so, Bones didn't trust Jim to control himself in the large playground area and invited himself on the exploration. He cursed his own foolishness as he remembered wandering by an unfamiliar flower.

It was an interesting looking specimen, a short and thin stem, large petals coloured a soft blue and purple and a strange scent he couldn't help finding himself drawn to. He recalled wanting to check if it had any medical properties. He could faintly remember what happened next, his mind was a blur. He remembered leaning down, wanting to examine the flower and suddenly hearing a harsh cry. McCoy believed he slipped into unconsciousness as he woke up in the medical bay.

``The doctor had encountered a flower I have never seen before. From what we've gathered it releases a loud scream as a defence mechanism which neutralizes the central nervous system rendering the nearby individual unconscious, deprived of their sense of hearing quite possible, death." Spock had explained. "Doctor McCoy was very fortunate to have only encountered one undeveloped."

"Will he be alright?" Jim pressed and McCoy squinted, trying to read the younger man's lips.

"He shall be fine." Spock assured, looking over at Leonard. "Give the doctor the rest of the afternoon to recover."

And that's how it happened. Leonard blinked tiredly. He would have created a hypospray to fix his momentary deafness but the time it would take to make it would take as long as his handicap would last. There was also the requirement of returning down to get a piece of the flower and he did not wish to risk rupturing his eardrums any further.

His time wasn't solely spent on lying at the medical bed and staring blankly at the wall. Jim had enthusiastically volunteered to keep the doctor company and to make sure he did not stress himself too much. The captain had used his padd to converse with McCoy and if the blond's constant desire to open his mouth didn't bother Leonard enough, his writing certainly did. And still, even as McCoy grumbled at Jim's scrawl, complaining if he ever learned to write properly, Jim gave him his usual smile.

The younger man would never admit it, but he harboured feelings for his best friend. Jim couldn't remember when it started and often contemplated on the feeling, telling himself he just depended on Bones too much, or he was simply seeing their friendship differently out of curiosity, thinking so hard it was becoming real.

And maybe he was just caring as any friend would, but he couldn't put his finger at why his heart had stopped when he found McCoy unconscious when he went to check up on him, the doctor not responding to his calls. He had kneeled down, and picked up the older man with a rough pull from his arm, forcing it around his shoulder. Jim remembered fumbling with his communicator and yelling for the crew to beam him up.

It wasn't until they were back on the Enterprise did Jim take a second to look the doctor over. A hesitant hand reached for the side of Leonard's face and Jim did not hide the shock on his face as he withdrew his fingers to find hints of blood from McCoy's ear...

The only thing that seemed to calm him was Bones' breath brushing against his hand, which assured him that he was still alive. When McCoy had woken up, a little over an hour after returning onto the ship, Jim had hugged him as close as he possibly could which brought up a few sounds of protest.

"Damn it, Jim. I'm not dead. Get off of me, you idiot." Leonard tried to unwrap the younger man's arms from around him but it proved futile. It took him a second to realize how different his voice sounded when he spoke and that it was the only thing he could hear. Setting his hand at the sides of his head, he let a finger pass over the shell of his ear before bringing it in front of his face and blinking at the little flakes of red clinging to his skin.

The following hour went on with McCoy shuffling through the medical bay drawers, trying to fish something out that could help him. Jim had pulled him away as best as he could and tried to get Bones to sit down. Telling him to calm down did not work as well as he wished as McCoy yelled at him that he couldn't hear what Jim was saying.

Leonard crossed his arms when Spock came in and explained the situation after having the remainder of the exploration crew examine the area McCoy was found, from a safe distance, of course. The doctor was irritated by being unable to catch a word the Vulcan said to Jim, though he enjoyed the short peace from the First Officer's little insults.

Kirk did his best to explain to McCoy what happened, finding his padd an effective way to communicate. He had first tried illustrating to Leonard with poorly drawn plants and arrows but only angered him further and the younger man simply switched to writing.

The rest of the day continued as if it were any other. They had lunch together and shared an average conversation. They lasted a bit longer obviously, as Jim couldn't write as fast as he could speak and McCoy felt his patience tested.

By mid-afternoon, Leonard started missing his ability to hear, at first it was a bit strange yet an interesting experience. He acknowledged just how much people communicated with their body and paid much more attention to the people around him. But now, he sorely missed the voices of his fellow crew members. There was a strange feel of isolation and that a thin wall had been placed in front of him, but he was comforted that only a handful of hours remained.

His eyes wandered in front of the 3-dimensional chess board in front of him. Jim had suggested a game to help pass the time and had been wining for the most part, which didn't surprise McCoy. Jim had always been intelligent, it was just a bit difficult to believe sometimes because of his outgoing personality, but Leonard knew. An idiot couldn't have hacked the Kobayashi Maru though the main idea of cheating was idiotic by itself. But that was Jim for you.

The game did not last very long, the younger man had won and McCoy was slightly irritated as Jim didn't seem to be trying, as if he were daydreaming most of the time. And still Jim smiled softly at him. The doctor looked down at the padd at the side of the table being pushed in his direction and read, _"Do you want me to put the board away?"_ McCoy nodded, he could faintly hear the padd scratching against the desk and was relieved as a little less than an hour remained.

His hearing had been slowly coming back to him but he didn't find it important enough to announce he could slightly catch what people were saying by now. Jim was being extra quiet today, what more could he ask for?

Jim put the chess set away on the shelf behind Bones. His pace was slow and he turned his head back to see McCoy occupying himself with staring at the peculiar articles around his room. Kirk sighed heavily finally as Bones couldn't see him. His hands ran down the shelf as he tried to organize his thoughts.

He had a lot of work to catch up to by the end of the day. But the pile of forms needed to be signed was steadily rising but that wasn't his biggest worry. It was a bit cruel to say, but Jim was thankful for Bones' momentary deafness. The ability to say things to the older man he could never find the courage to say to his face was something Jim never believed he would have. He could make himself believe McCoy heard every word he said and imagine his own conclusion. Of course, it would never be the same as if he did the real thing but still-

He had been contemplating telling McCoy behind his back how he felt for most of the day. It would be relief to finally utter the words, but Jim worried if he said it once, would he ever be able to say them again when Leonard was back to normal. He did not want live for the rest of his life in a make believe world.

"I love you, Bones..." Jim murmured, giving into temptation. He could have sworn he saw the doctor's ear twitch for a second and he felt his stomach sink, fearing for a moment that Bones actually heard what he said, and still, hoping he did. McCoy sat still for a moment, before turning to Jim with an indifferent expression on his face.

"Did you say something?" He asked, he thought he heard a hum of something from behind him. Jim stood still and tilted his head. He picked up his data pad and gripped at it a little firmer, and felt the sweat on his palms. _It would never be the same as the real thing_. His hand felt heavy as he grabbed the stylus, scrawling onto the screen and looked at the data pad for a second before turning it to face Bones.

Jim shook his head, mouthing a small 'No' as his data pad had the words _'it was nothing'_ written on it. He forced a grin and his chest hurt as McCoy continued to look at him with a plain expression. '_He never has to know. He doesn't need to know, at least not now.'_

He went back to the table, dragging his chair close to Bones' and eyed the clock on the wall. He shuddered slightly, trying to relax himself. He wanted nothing more but to leave. He mouthed a '_Hey'_ and gave a light nudge with his elbow at the doctor's side, which received a small grunt and nudge back.

"What is it?" McCoy grumbled and looked up as Jim pointed at the wall while writing on his padd with his other hand. Bones glanced down at the screen seeing the messy scrawl. _"You got a few more hours left; do you think you'll be alright by yourself?"_ His eyes wandered farther, seeing the younger man's hand tremble slightly even after he finished.

Slowly, McCoy's hand settled over Jim's. Kirk raised his head and looked up at the older man. He did not withdraw his hand, but simply basked in the warmth radiating off Leonard's palm.

"Your hand is shaking." Bones murmured. He noticed Jim taking a while to return back the table and was sure he said something now, but tried not to make it sound too obvious or invasive. "Something wrong?" His eyes bore into blue ones.

"I said it's nothing." McCoy managed to read from Jim's lips before the younger man pause and he suddenly felt his hand escape from under his to write on the data pad. Leonard quickly picked Jim's hand back into his. The gesture had been meant to simply tell Jim that he understood what he said and writing wasn't necessary but he immediately felt embarrassed.

"Bones?" Jim's mouth opened slightly in surprise. Their faces were close and they could both feel each other's breath grazing at the other's cheeks. They stared at one another again and Jim could have sworn his heart stopped for a moment as he felt McCoy's lips brush against his' lightly. His data pad clattered onto the floor forgotten as Jim set a hesitant hand at the side of Leonard's face.

The touch ended as fast as it began but lingered in their minds a little longer. Bones cleared his throat and was the first to withdraw. His face was red.

"I-I don't know what the hell came over me." Bones started, placing a hand over his mouth for a second as if trying to rub away the invisible evidence of what happened. He wasn't sure what possessed him to do that, it almost felt like a reflex, and somehow he thought he knew what Jim may have said behind him. _'Oh god.'_ "I have to go."

He stood up and left the room, going as fast as possible back to his quarters or to hide in the medical bay. Jim did not stop him, still awestruck to even move. His mind was flooded with thoughts. Maybe Bones did hear what he said and maybe he felt the same way. Jim felt his heart beat at his throat. Even if the doctor didn't hear him, Jim was sure he knew one way or another. Bones knew. Either that or he could have developed feelings of his own and Jim found his mind reeling with ideas. He could only wait now. Wait for Bones to return and get his hearing back. And he felt like maybe words were falling upon his own deaf ears as his chest beat wildly, drawing his own conclusions.


End file.
